H O R R O R

If 2 brothers with scary looking faces were to experiment with a flash it might look a little something like this:

Photos taken by myself and Gordon with his shiny Nikon, oooooo.

What's the fucking point?

Everything pales into insignificance.

Bears in snake røller bøøts

My brøther the phøtøgrapher:

These awesøme phøtøs taken by the øne and ønly Gørdøn J. F. Squire.

Spøt fire-tasche and fire-wrists.

More fa.a.a.mous business

The continuation in my attempts to become a journalist:

HEALTH

Leeds Met

23/10/2010

It’s hard to find actual words to do Health’s performance on Saturday night the justice it deserves. A lot of experimental music is utterly bollocks and mind numbing, but this was the complete opposite. The set was just so completely different from anything else…ever.

At first, as Health started, the crowd was slightly bemused with these four crazy Americans wildly jumping about the stage. However this quickly turned to awe and enjoyment as the set progressed. It was easy to get lost in the drummer’s ridiculous ferocity and skill or the bassist’s long, silky locks swinging constantly about the stage, which could have easily been the subject of a Pantene advert.

The lack of song structure and the inability to tell which weird noises were coming from where made the performance even more enchanting. Health, it seems, have an expert ability to make noises and feedback sound a lot like songs. And with instruments including something called a Zoothorn it’s not hard to see why.

If this had been Health’s own gig the crowd definitely would have been going a lot more mental. Despite this it was easy to forget that they were support for Crystal Castles as they were equally as good as the headline act.

‘Crimewave’ was possibly the only discernable song from the set list but this by no means cast the other songs in shadow and only served to emphasise health’s versatility. When vocals did distinguish themselves from screams they were oddly Brian Molko’esque although a lot more insignificant and unassuming. However, Placebo haters are not to be put off as they complimented the music well.

Heads exploding and children with guns would have been less exciting to watch than this exhibition given by Health. Bands take note; it’s not necessary to make generic, shit music that’s sounds like everything else. Health show that it is possible to make something different that also sounds bloody wicked.

Health, because you’re worth it.

4/5

Is Tropical

Nation Of Shopkeepers

Thursday 28/10/2010

Who tropical? How tropical? When tropical? Oh, wait, it’s Is Tropical, that band that played at Nation Of Shopkeepers on Thursday night. Although, not many people know this, as there were only about 16 people at the gig, it was outstanding.

Is Tropical are the latest band to be signed to ultra hip label Kitsuné and this usually proves to be a very good recommendation. The dreary support bands did nothing to build the anticipation however and falling asleep in Nation’s most comfortable seats seemed inevitable for the majority of the crowd. It turns out that two weird men standing at adjacent Mac books doing virtually nothing isn’t actually that crowd-pleasing. Nevertheless the veiled faces of Is Tropical coming on stage sparked excitement and as the boys started it was clear to see why they have been signed by the French record label.

The aforementioned veils (bottom half of faces only, none of this bride stuff) provided an extra element of interest to this cool performance. And despite being slightly at odds with the music they were playing and looking like octopuses had attacked their faces, Is Tropical wore them well.

Anyway, this is no fashion review (although the drummer’s bejewelled cap, which could have done the gig by it’s self, needs a mention). Short, fast, noisy songs blasted from the stage while the two lead vocals alternated captivatingly. Striking drum and keyboard riffs interspersed the performance and proved very successful.

All those Leeds inhabitants not in attendance, and they were a lot of them, most definitely missed out. Sixteen doesn’t really make the greatest crowd, however those sixteen loved it and couldn’t give a shit why no one else had turned up.

Is Tropical’s set was short and sweet… wait…short and awesome. But by no means was the ending premature and the band state themselves that gigs are often ruined by overlong set lists. Too true.

Nation provided the perfect venue for this band that are clearly one to watch for in future and who were the highlight of the evening. The lowlight being chatted up by a creepy man that pretended to love Is Tropical then disappeared as soon as they started.

4/5

The Jim Jones Review

Shoot First

Hey. Guess what? Elvis isn’t dead. Or, at least that’s what comes to mind listening to the new single from The Jim Jones Review. Jaunty piano and heavy bass pummel each other like two angry bums fighting over the last special brew. It’s easy to ignore slightly clichéd lyrics when being swept away by a deranged hurricane. ‘Shoot First’ is over more or less before it begins but is a powerful introduction to this band nonetheless.

3.5/5

Uffie

Difficult

Anything from or even vaguely related to Ed Banger Records is always worth a listen and is usually mind-blowing. Uffie’s unique brand of hip-hop electro pop rap takes a slightly different direction to the labels synonymous dirty electro but the similarities are apparent. Produced by SebastiAn, this upbeat, trippy number is sure to delight Uffie fans and educate the uninitiated into a very different style of music, which can only be described as Uffie-pop.

3/5

!

I miss taking photos

Resolution; stop wasting time doing stupid things like work and do more exciting stuff like photoing.

Student

I have become a published music journalist and am now terribly famous. Here are my published works so far:

Chiddy Bang

‘The Good Life’

Gangster rapping Hip-hop is probably what Chiddy Bang would like listeners of their new single to think. In reality however, the ‘song’ just comes across as underwhelming wannabee trash, identical to thousands of other ‘Hip-Hop’ records that belong in someone’s fire. The only reason to listen would be to set yourself the challenge of deciphering the indiscernible lyrics chanted at irregular intervals throughout the song. “Swallaay”…… maybe?

Don’t bother

3/10

Doyle & The Fourfathers

The Governor of Giving Up

Doyle & The Fourfathers? No? If this single is anything to go by there isn’t really anything to know. Annoying vocals, beige guitars and dubious lyrics mean listening to this song is like being lost in a puddle of mediocrity. Why do it Doyle? If boring people was the goal of this single, then recording a horse chewing various varieties of hay would have sufficed.

Distinctly average at best.

2/5

White Denim

Last Day Of Summer

Is it an album? Is it not an album? Actually, it doesn’t matter because the new pre-album thing from White Denim is bloody wicked. The band describes the record as a little summer retreat from their ongoing work on their third full length LP. Summer retreat is a very apt description as the tracks have ‘summer’ scrawled all over their intricate faces. What starts out as listening to the new White Denim record turns into a beach barbeque on a summer evening in July.

Avid white denim wearers might be thinking that this doesn’t sound like their beloved jeans they normally pull on when trying to impress all the lady folk. And it can be said that these crazy Texans have taken a slightly different approach with these recordings compared to previous albums. Imagine forcing happy pills down their throats and that just about describes the vibe. Although, this daydream may have actually been reality as the newly appointed guitarist, Austin Jenkins, may have had a pocket full of the stuff the first day he walked into the studio. Whatever crazy stuff has been happening in the world of White Denim, be assured that this is still the same psychedelic rockers. Albeit slightly more insouciant and a lot less frantic. Some things always remain the same though and James Petralli’s vocals rasp over guitar wizardry that even Albus Dumbledore himself would be proud of.

This slight change in direction is very becoming for this talented band and music exudes effortlessly from their fingertips straight into welcoming ears. Anyone able to listen to this straight faced and sitting perfectly still is either deaf or impoverished in the heart department, as this surely is a feel-good record of a very high degree.

Highlights ‘I'd Have It Just The Way We Were’ and ‘Tony Fatti’ induce genuine smiling whilst closer ‘New Coat’ insures that the last day of summer is a truly enjoyable one.

‘Last Day of Summer’ is available as a free download from the band’s website. And for all those people that like actual good music, not this X-Factor bollocks, is without doubt worth the couple of minutes it’ll take to download. Even donate a couple of sheckles by clicking on the big red “Donate” button. This record makes waiting for the new full-length album very exciting.

4/5

Ok, well maybe these are only from the Leeds Student Newspaper, still bloody alright though? Should be more to come soon hopefully.

Moderate depression

Today, I delve into the land of literature.

A short while ago I wrote a review of the newest 'Bombay Bicycle Club' album called 'Flaws'. The reason for this I shall not explain (it is complicated and not very interesting), but i present it here and now for all to read and make judgement upon.

Bombay Bicycle Club

Flaws

Bombay Bicycle Club, a band that some may confuse with The British Broadcasting Corporation, through a similarity of initials. Although, in reality, this is the only similarity between an astounding, young band on their way to certain greatness and the largest broadcasting company in the world.

‘Flaws’, the new album by Bloody Brilliant Club, soothes your heart from the very first, beautiful note. Jack Steadman’s faltering tones pick you up and cradle you in their arms whilst gently stroking your hair. The listener may very well find themselves in a state of bliss as they are transported to BBC’s acoustic land of love.

BBC became more widely acknowledged through the release of their debut onslaught of brilliance ‘I Had The Blues But I Shook Them Loose’. However, the decision to make an exclusively acoustic second album has paid off enormously and this dissonant style accentuates the band’s true, charming character.

The afore released Ivy & Gold provides the foundations for the other songs to improvise on and is one of the album’s highlights. The additional pinnacle comes in last four minutes and fourteen seconds where the cover of Joanna Newsom’s ‘Swansea’ lulls the eleven-part odyssey to a close. The listener’s anticipation is slightly dulled around track seven as ‘Word By Word’ feels like an album filler and is a touch disappointing. However, this does not by any means ruin the mood set by the band named after an Indian restaurant in their native North London.

Along side the refreshingly different music is the obvious enjoyment that Bombay Bicycle Club get from playing their instruments. All one has to do is see the band play live and it is automatically apparent from their Cheshire Cat smiles that being in BBC is the greatest thing in the world. This is so inspirational in a music industry overpopulated by corporate record label boss puppeteers controlling plastic, soulless artists.

‘Flaws’ may be the name of the album but this is not at all the right expression to describe this tour de force or the band that created it.

Also, here is a lovely picture i took whilst at one of their gigs.

Un pix

Cigarette, cigarette. Marlboro, Lucky.

The thought police

There's always hope

No fucking in the park.

This sign now reads 'No Fucking In The Park'. I think the original is better though, it poses more intellectual stimulation. One wonders why a park is called such if it is forbidden to carry out the aforementioned act there. Now, it is fairly obvious why one should not fuck in a park, without having to mention the legal issues. However if parking in a park is such a faux pas, why call a park, a park?

†rue Love

For t'was not into my ear you whispered but into my heart.

A theøry øf prøbability

Je suis un Parisien.